i'm starting to hate this. i love school most of the imte but i realised there's so much work the teachers didn' tell us that we have to hand in so fast when school re opens . i have already burnt all my time on SIAs and RESEARCH and homework... i mean its so un fiar since we 're the first bacth of Ip doesn't mean we should be tortured the most. we are guinea pigs for the year but its oo hard on the guinea pigs... i'm dying badly!?!?!
july is always full of work i know that but this is too much? erm first i thought i would be able to concentrate on MATH and IPW tonight but it seems i have a small test tmr so that takes the afternoon then have science now!!! i hate this! and math still have WS that's utterly difficul! besides that still have history SIA and i have to touchup on geog SIA cause it seems that i would fail if i hand it in like that. and have nglish presentation? like only one day to find info that is not related to animal farm! what on earth is this kind of things.
and i get chased from the com at ten evry night. i know its for my own good but i really need it for work. i know if i don't get chased out, i wouldn't sleep and i would get a bad case of panda eyes for one week.
you know what. da jie, i know how u feel now. Its so hateful. there's probelms other than homework too. things to do with the heart. the feelings, the emotions. i know i should really try to control and refrain from yelling at anyone but i'm really sorry i can't do it. i just keep quiet. i'm really sorry to those who heard me burst. i'm really sorry. i had to get eveyone together and evryone just don't do anything and then u are not in the very wrong then i start yelling. i'm really sorry. especially my IPW members... they've been hurt the most?
dajie. what should i do? i have to be nice and try to be very nice to they who hurt my fellings so badly. i'm trying utterly hard to be nice.But should i do that, should i? i wonder if i'm doing the right thing. maybe its the right way. Its affecting my grades partly. I really wanna pull my grades above the average this semester.
i need to have meetings during recess but i need to go to dance too. if not i'll screw up the stpes and dance and get into trouble. and my group into trouble. i'm pulled really both sides. How its onmipotent. to be all powerful. what must i do?
its getting real bad. evrytime i fell like yelling and crying i just can't cause it would hurt everyone. i'm trying. i'm trying. i'm trying. HOW!?!?! da jie, please. i'n gonna break down soon. that's going to be worse. so HOW i need more than just the words u have given to me.
i'm going to slip into my own world soon ,can i shut off? can I? dajie, can i? shut me up from the world. i used to love july when i was young in rpi scjool in kindergarten. but now? i seems i'm slowly and slowly disliking it. Its not going be nice turning thirten this year. i don't want it to come soon which it is. i don't want it to come soon. but it will come soon.
dajie. show me the way to go now. i need a path,just a path just one to move out of this horrible thing. but i know its impossible to escape. its just best to solve this slowly. i'm at the brink of desperation,sacarifaces are made for all these. music(my love other than dance),i'm not concentrating o it anymore. my time. all the free time. i'm not ready to give part of my passion for dance to this. i'm not ready.
i'm not the only one who feels bad at the moment. i saw what happened today at the dance studio during lunch today. i saw. it was very hurting if i were the person or even one of the members there. i want to say, feljie: please don't be sad and recover soon.
tearing would be part of the process for this obstacle for me. it would help heal the wound. it would not make miracles in a day but it would, one day heal me fully.
aNn
Angel Of Music ; 11:31 PM ;